Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide
Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly with regards to the mortgage and household bills. When marriage seperation is inevitable obviously both parties need somewhere to stay and often it can be quite difficult to sell one property and then try to finance two. Some couples agree to keep the existing property going and one partner move out into rented accommodation for a trial marriage seperation period. This then gives each partner time to reflect and decide what may be better for both parties. However, both parties in marriage seperation have to live and are sometimes eligible for single parent help should they have children. This, together with child maintenance, could help with their financial situation considerably. Marriage seperation can be a lonely one as you may not get asked to dinner parties and get togethers from your existing circle of friends who are still married. People intend to invite couples to join couples and have a good time. They sometimes forget that friends, whether together in marriage or not, should still be friends and it often helps to keep them in the same circle of friends even in marriage seperation. After all we are all human and need all the friends we have especially at the beginning of a marriage seperation. True friends will always want to help you at a time like this when your morale is low and you need motivation. It is also helpful to meet new people who are in the same situation as yourself. They will understand what you are going through and it may help you too to get things off your chest. You never know, you may even gain a complete new circle of friends. There are so many meeting points for people on their own. Dinner dates, luncheons and breakfast clubs operate throughout the country so meeting new people, where for friendship or a new prospective partner could be a step in the right direction to get you motivated and get you out of a rut. Of course marriage seperation for the older person tends to be much harder a you tend to think that most people by now have found their ideal partner and that there do not seem to be many older people looking for companionship or a stable relationship. Again, clubs and groups of all ages operate in most areas. Obviously you will be more cautious next time around as you have already been hurt in the past. But you now have more experience behind you and know what to look for in the future whether it be friendship or a more permanent relationship. Marriage seperation is hard work but once you come to terms with what has happened in your life you should be able to build a new life for yourself and look forward to new and rewarding challenges that come along. Marriage seperation can and will be stressful at times but keep your head above water and you will begin to see positive results arise in your future. Concentrate on being positive in the future and you will reap the rewards that await you. Everything comes to those who wait. Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations. http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com
Related News
Leo Abse: MP who fought to reform homosexuality and divorce laws - Times Online
Leo Abse - Telegraph.co.uk
Collins 'makes £25m divorce payout' - The Press Association
Lawyers Besiege Britney Spears for Unpaid Divorce Bills - TheImproper.com
Lazenby hits back in divorce battle - The Press Association
Donnie Wahlberg to divorce wife - BBC News
BBC News |
Donnie Wahlberg to divorce wifeBBC News, UK -Aug 19, 2008He and his wife, Kim Fey Wahlberg, have both filed for divorce, with Kim citing "irreconcilable differences". Wahlberg, 39, is preparing to go on tour with ... |
Easy Soft Launches Divorce Financials Software for Tax Optimized ... - PR Web (press release)
Critics: No-fault divorce isn't a panacea - Newsday
Critics: No-fault divorce isn't a panaceaNewsday, NY -6 hours agoBY MELANIE LEFKOWITZ | melanie.lefkowitz@newsday.com When California became the first state to allow couples to divorce without accusing each other of ... |
GMTV divorce lawyer arrested - Telegraph.co.uk
Telegraph.co.uk |
GMTV divorce lawyer arrestedTelegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom -23 hours agoA TV divorce lawyer has been arrested after allegedly lying about her husband trying to poison her. By Jessica Salter Vanessa Lloyd Platt, 53, from Barnet, ... |
TV divorce lawyer Platt arrested - BBC News
TV divorce lawyer Platt arrestedBBC News, UK -Aug 19, 2008A TV divorce lawyer has been arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice. Vanessa Lloyd Platt, 53, from Barnet, north London, has appeared as ... |
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it
The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder. You are grieving. You are grieving the loss of your marriage as you know it, of the spouse as you knew him or her. You know that although you may heal that nothing will ever be exactly the same.
Hidden Divorce Costs
Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century. The stigma of being divorced that once existed no loger exists. This does not mean that divorce is an easy decision to make. There are many reasons why people decide to get divorced. The most common reason that I have seen through talking to hundreds of people is due to infidelity.
Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!
It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you. There is a simple process to help the serious individual get over a divorce.
Divorce--How the Legal System Works Against You
If there were no legal system, no lawyers and no courts, divorce would still be difficult and it would still take time to go through it. Divorce is at least a major crossroad in your life, maybe even a full-blown life crisis.
So, here you are, you and your spouse, going through your personal life changes, when the State comes along and says, "Excuse me! You can't go through this without us. Your divorce has to be conducted on our field and under our rules . . . and you can't even hope to understand our rules. Oh, by the way, this divorce system we're going to put you through has no tools for helping you solve problems or negotiate with your spouse. In fact, our system is based on conflict and it is specially designed to cause trouble and greatly increase your expense. Please pay your filing fees on the way in."
Our system of justice is known as an "adversary system." This is the nature of the beast. It began hundreds of years ago in the middle ages with "trial by combat," where people with a disagreement would fight it out and whoever survived was "right." Today, physical contact is no longer a recognized legal technique, but things are still set up as a fight. The parties are regarded as adversaries, enemies in combat. When a divorce is conducted in our legal system, the spouses and their attorneys are expected to struggle against one another and try to "win" the case, to "beat" the opposition.
The rules control the way your attorney works with you. Your attorney is required to be "adversarial," that is, aggressive and combative. The adversary system and the way lawyers work in it is a major cause of conflict, trouble and the high cost of divorce. You want to have as little as possible to do with the legal system. It is designed to work against you.
In spite of the way things seem, lawyers are not always villains and not always to blame for stirring up conflict. But even for lawyers who mean well, the tools they use and the system they work in will usually increase conflict. Law schools do not require courses in communication or negotiation. Rather, they stress manipulation of rules of law, aggressive and defensive strategy, how to take any side of any case and make the most of it, how to argue, and how to get the most financial advantage in every situation.
Professional standards of practice dictate how a lawyer will conduct your case. For example, professional ethics forbid your lawyer to communicate directly with your spouse--the adversary. It is expected, instead, that your spouse will be represented by an attorney and your lawyer can only communicate through your spouse's lawyer.
This means that your attorney can't "talk sense" to your spouse, or explain to your spouse how you see things, or even help you talk to each other. It means your attorney will always have a one-sided view of your case and can never achieve an understanding any greater than your own.
If you retain a lawyer, he will definitely take your case into the contested cycle of the legal system because that's the only thing he can do. He has to. There are no other formal tools a lawyer can use.
The primary tools the lawyer uses are pre-trial motions and discovery. An attorney can take you and your spouse into court to get temporary orders for support, custody, visitation or keeping the peace. An attorney can use formal discovery to get documents and information under oath.
So, if you and your spouse can work out your own temporary arrangements and share all information openly, you'll have no need for those incredibly expensive legal tools. You can keep your case out of lawyers' offices and out of court.
But, if either spouse retains an attorney, that attorney will invariably write formal letters, file legal papers, make motions, and do discovery. These actions will surely cause the other spouse to get an attorney, too. Now, instead of two people who don't communicate well, you have four people who do not communicate well. The case is now contested and the cost and conflict level will go way up. Attorneys tend to ask for more than they expect to get; it's considered "good" practice. Your spouse's lawyer will oppose your lawyer's exaggerated demands by offering less than they are willing to give and by attacking you and your case at the weakest points.
Now you're off to a good, hot start and soon you'll have a hotly contested case, lots of cost, and a couple of very upset spouses. Fees in contested cases can run from tens of thousands of dollars each all the way up to everything.
Summary: Except in high-conflict cases, the legal system has little to offer. The things an attorney can do for you are expensive, upsetting, and tend to increase conflict rather than reduce it.
If you don't want to (or have to) use the legal system, go around it--work out your arrangements outside the legal system and, if necessary, get limited assistance, in the form of information and advice, from attorneys who do not represent the spouses.
Take heart; I tell you exactly how to do this in my articles, Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System and Divorce--How You Can Beat the System.
Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman
How to Use a Divorce Lawyer
You want three things in your divorce attorney: expertise in divorce, reliability, and a good attitude. You want a lawyer who specializes in divorce (at least 50% of his/her case load), and unless you're expecting a no-holds-barred battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who practices it professionally. Mediation-minded attorneys are more likely to give you neutral and problem-solving advice, whereas traditional attorneys tend to be more oriented to conflict and their advice tends to be adversarial. Your attorney must be someone you can trust and work with comfortably, someone who has your confidence.
Once you've found the right lawyer, here are some tips on how you can use your attorney in ways that will make your divorce go as smoothly and inexpensively as possible.
Using a lawyer efficiently. The most important thing is to be very well prepared whenever you contact a lawyer. Know your facts, know what you want to ask about, and know exactly what you want the lawyer to explain or do for you. Plan each conversation; make an agenda; write down the things you want to talk about; take notes on the content of the conversation; keep track of time spent on all phone calls and meetings. Keep a file for all your notes and all letters and documents. Do as much as possible on the phone and by mail to keep the office time at a minimum.
Regard your attorney as a resource, not someone you cling to or depend on for emotional support and stability. A lawyer is not the right person to make your decisions or lead your life--you are. Lawyers cost too much for you to use them for sympathy and consolation--that's what family, friends and counselors are for.
When you talk to a lawyer, stick to the facts and don't just chat, ramble, or complain about things your spouse did unless you actually want your lawyer to do something about it. Don't take your anger to an attorney; you want your best interests represented, not your emotions.
Taking control of your own case. Being in control of your own case and your own life is the single best thing you can do in any divorce, so it is essential that you have a lawyer who can work cheerfully on that basis. If you are well prepared and business like, that will help the lawyer see that you are in charge of things, but you should actually say that's how you want it to be. Tell the lawyer that you want good advice and will rely on the lawyer's experience, but that you expect to make decisions that concern the tone and strategy of the case. Ask that you be sent copies of all documents and letters. Let the attorney know that you expect phone calls to be answered by the next working day. These little things let the lawyer know you are the boss. After all, you pay the bills.
Using a lawyer for specific tasks. Instead of hiring a lawyer to get you a divorce, it may be far more cost-effective to use the lawyer just for information or advice on specific subjects. That may be all the legal help you will need. If not, you can always go back for more help later. After you have organized all your facts and read about how the law works in your case, if you still have questions about the law or what the likely outcome will be in your county, write all your questions down and ask a lawyer.
You may decide to have a lawyer help with your marital settlement agreement, either to draft one or just to check over one you have made yourself. If you get stuck or confused at any point in your divorce, that's a good time to go for help. The more specific and prepared you can be, the more you will get for your money.
My book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better explains the process of divorce so you can become well-informed, and is full of information to help you get organized and prepared before you see a lawyer. It even includes worksheets to help gather all your information together. You will also find lots of practical advice on how to deal with your emotions during divorce, and an example of a marital settlement agreement that will help you create your own. For more information, go to www.nolodivorce.com.
Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman
Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. When making serious divorce decisions, having an open mind and listing the things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.
9 Steps to Regaining Self-Esteem After Divorce
Divorce is difficult at the 'best' of times. Even when a couple makes a combined decision to divorce, it can be extremely trying.
The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship
Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a particularly difficult experience because it makes you deal with two different sets of issues.
An In-Depth Look at Army Divorce Rates
Raleigh, NC-The largest divorce firm in the state, Rosen Law Firm, says they're not surprised by the sharp increase among Army divorce rates and that more needs to be done to counsel the spouses left at home and those deployed overseas.
Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective
It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective.
Guide To Reducing The Cost Of Divorce
Seven Tips to help you keep more of your money at a time when you especially need it to support two households instead of one.
Cheating Husbands - Meeting Needs?
Husbands cheat on their wives for many reasons. They could be bored with their lifestyle and feel that they need to do something exciting or they could be having a midlife crisis. The latter is very common as many husbands cheat on their wives when they seem to reach 40 for some reason.
Stop Divorce: Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If Youre Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce, although its logical to automatically assume so.
The Legal Side of Divorce
While divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, even in the best of situations, it can also be a complicated legal matter that affects both parties equally. No matter how long your marriage has lasted or how few belongings you share together, it is also best to involve an attorney in your divorce proceedings. With out legal representation your rights could go unprotected and you could end up in financial trouble or even lose custody of your children or possessions.
Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. When making a serious divorce decision, having an open mind and listing the things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.
Post-Divorce Alimony in Texas
This article provides a brief overview on Texas law concerning post-divorce alimony in Texas. Laws differ from state to state and individual circumstances vary, so you should consult with a qualified family law attorney in your area for specific advice on your particular situation. Additionally, this article deals only with post-divorce alimony. It does not address temporary alimony, which is provided for under a different provision of the Texas Family Code.
Two Kinds of Alimony: Contractual and Court Ordered maintenanceThere are two kinds of post-divorce alimony in Texas: contractual alimony and court ordered maintenance. The Texas Family Code also provides authority for the court to order temporary alimony which occurs while a divorce is pending. However, temporary alimony is outside the scope of this article and will not be addressed.Contractual AlimonyContractual alimony is based on an agreement between the parties in their divorce decree. For tax purposes, contractual alimony is normally deemed income to the receiving party and is deductible from the income of the paying party. Since contractual alimony must be based on an agreement of the parties, there are no limits to the possible amount or duration of the alimony. Court Ordered Maintenance Court ordered maintenance is provided for by Texas Family Code Chapter Eight. Although actually awarded in only a small percentage of Texas divorces, the court has the right to order one spouse to pay the other post-divorce maintenance in either of two circumstances:1. The payor spouse either received deferred adjudication or was convicted of a crime constituting family violence within two years of the filing of the divorce case, or2. The parties have been married at least ten years and the receiving spouse has some kind of financial limitation (disability, unable to work because caring for the party's child, or lacks earning ability to meet minimum reasonable needs).The monthly amount of court ordered maintenance is capped at the lesser of: a) $2,500 or b) 20% of the monthly payor's gross income.The maximum duration of court ordered maintenance is three years. The only exception is when maintenance is ordered as the result of a disability, in which case the duration can potentially extend indefinitely. ConsiderationsWhere there is a large disparity in incomes alimony can sometimes be used as a useful settlement tool. Since alimony is generally taxable to the receiving party and deductible to the paying party it can be often structured so that it is advantageous to both parties.For example, a party in a high tax bracket can agree to make monthly alimony payments in exchange for a more favorable property division. If the receiving party is in a lower tax bracket, the overall income tax paid could be significantly lower than what it would be otherwise. Another factor to consider is how rarely Texas trial courts order maintenance, absent an agreement. The statute allows for maintenance only when the specific statutory circumstances have been proven. There are several appellate cases that have reversed trial court decisions ordering maintenance when the requesting party did not provide sufficient proof that the standard had been met. In cases where there is a large amount of community property, one of the most effective arguments in attempting to defeat a maintenance claim is that the requesting party will have ample resources to provide for their needs since the party will receive a significant amount of assets from the division of property.Another common argument used to defeat a maintenance claim is that, during the pendency of the divorce, the requesting party has not made significant attempts to either obtain employment or obtain training that would allow the party to obtain employment. As an example, lets take a divorce case where the wife is requesting maintenance on the grounds that the marriage is longer than ten years and that she lacks the earning ability to meet her minimum reasonable needs. If the case has been pending for several months and at the time of
trial she has still made no effort to obtain employment or improve her job skills, it will be a difficult claim to succeed upon. The court is unlikely to find that she is "unable" to meet her reasonable minimum needs and more likely to believe that she is unwilling to take the necessary steps in order to provide for her own support.ConclusionAlimony in Texas, while rarely ordered, is an important and complicated issue. It can be used as an effective settlement tool and can potentially be a significant trial issue. For someone involved in a Texas divorce case with a potential alimony issue, the issue should be discussed in detail with an experienced divorce lawyer.
Divorce--How to Beat the System
Of course you want to get your Judgment--that's the goal of your legal divorce--but you don't want to go through the adversarial legal system to get it. You don't want to get all tangled up with lawyers and courts, because the system is designed to work against you.
Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms
Dating is tough for just about everybody, but it's even tougher for people who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being "out of practice," there are often children's feelings to consider.
Divorce and the Stock Market
The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It is not very encouraging to enter into any kind of relationship knowing that it only has a 50/50 chance of being successful. Failure at anything is never pleasant, but there is one good thing about divorce. You are now free to try again and hopefully this time you will not make the same mistake.
Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article
There are many types of divorce articles available on the Internet by a variety of authors. What's below will help you get the most out of the divorce articles here on this site and anywhere else. The below information about divorce articles holds true for most any type of articles on the Internet as well.
|
