Divorce: How To Survive A Divorce And Move On With Your Life
One out of every two marriages in America is failing. American families are crumbling and vanishing. Most families have become dysfunctional, and it is widely
becoming fashionable to come from a dysfunctional
family. Divorce is on the rise all the time. Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation to
other people - is the basic secret of your success or failure in
life. Here are some marital insights to help you survive a divorce
and live the rest of your life happily. It's really as simple as that... Think well of yourself, and
you'll do well. Think disparagingly of yourself, and you'll probably not do
very well at all . It is natural to have a low self-esteem after going through a
divorce. In fact, the blow dealt to one's self-esteem by divorce is
lethal and crushing enough to drive anyone to the brink
of insanity. There may be very justifiable reasons to end a marriage
and get a divorce. The way I see it, it should be preferable to end a problematic
Marriage than to stay and keep suffering, being abused and
endangering one's life. This is common sense. It makes a great sense to end the marriage , seek a
divorce and find a much better partner in life. Nobody is above making a mistake. But when you make a mistake in the choice of your life
partner, be reasonable to realize it, end the marriage,
find another partner and continue with your life. There are billions of human beings on earth, and one should
be able to find a compatible partner to continue one's life. When a marriage ends in divorce, one should have a good
attitude about it. But this not always easy for most spouses. They tend to continue to remain attached to their ex-partners. They continue to agonize over the break-up and blame
each other for the failure. They are filled with anger, self-loathing, regrets, anxiety and
frustration due to the failed marriage. They continue to let the memories about the failed marriage
linger on. After a divorce, the correct attitude will be to consider the
marriage dead and let go of all feelings regarding it and move
on with ones's life. It may take sometime for you to go through the necessary healing
that has to take place before you are able to recognize and enjoy happiness again. Even so, the most important and the very first thing you must do
following the break-up of any kind of relationship, is to get
started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem. This means that you have to accept the fact that neither you or
anyone else is perfect - determine that you will learn from your
mistakes - and that you will become whatever it is you aspire to
be. Immediately, do something that makes you feel good - something
you've been wanted to do for some time - or always wanted to
do. This could be getting a new hair-do, buying a new suit,
enrolling in a special self-improvement course, starting a
new job or business, or even taking an extended vacation. You may also relocate and move to another city. This is one way of leaving all memories of the failed
marriage behind. You mustn't lock yourself in your house or apartment and
keep brooding over the failed marriage. You mustn't be afraid to get out and associate with people. You mustn't stop enjoying life! You may have to force yourself, but you must "forget" about
mourning your loss and continue with your life. You must go on with your life with a stronger determination
than ever, to be the person you want to be. Don't "beat yourself over the head" with feelings of guilt. Get rid of your anger as quickly as possible. Forget about the past. Focus on the present and the future. Get on with the rest of your life without delay! Revitalize those ambitions that have been "hidden away" in the
back of your mind, and consider this particular time in your
life as an opportunity for a new start. Do some introspection relative to what it is you want out of life;
reorganize your time and efforts to attain those objectives; and
go for it with all you've got! The way you feel about yourself has a strong reflection on the
way you feel about others. When things are not quite right, the first thing that
needs to be changed is your disposition - your attitude,
feelings towards other people, and your emotional responses. Think about your facial expressions and the tone of your voice
when you're talking with other people. Being aware of these things with consideration towards other
people, will "bring you out of your-self" and allow other people
to want to know more about you. You have to forget about and let go of, the past. Anything and everything that happened yesterday is long gone
and cannot be changed. You have the rest of your life from this moment on, to
achieve love - happiness - fame and fortune. Whatever it is you want in life can be yours. All that's necessary to make any dream come true is a true
understanding of what you want, and determination on your
part to make it all happen according to your plan. Think about what you want -prepare yourself to get it ?
focus your efforts on the fulfillment of your ambitions ?
and there's nothing that can stop you from total realization! If you're a man, after divorce, desist from condemning
all the women as devils. Just because your marriage didn't work out with one woman
doesn't mean that all women are evil. If you're a woman, after your divorce, don't conclude that
all men are evil. Just because your marriage didn't work out with one man
doesn't mean that all men are evil. It is also not a good reason to become a lesbian! There are billions of men in the world. If it doesn't work with one man, it may work with another,
so go for it. So, the first thing relative to rebuilding one's self-esteem -
following a divorce, or the loss of a loved one by any
circumstances - is to understand why you hurt, and what is
necessary in order to be happy again. It is essential that you think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind
of life you want for yourself; know that you can have it all
because you've laid the foundation, done your homework,
and you're on a positive road towards achievement; and then
get busy "making tracks" in that direction. In simple terms - it hurts, but you're not dead - you're only
wasting time thinking about or rehashing the past because
there's no way anything that happened yesterday or the day
before can be changed - so quickly pick up the pieces, and get
on with your life! May these insights about life after divorce help you to find a
new meaning in life and to move on and prosper and be
happy for the rest of your life. Warmly, I-key Benney, CEO I-key, a Millionaire CEO from New York City is the creator of "Mscsrrr: Millionaire Secret Cash System", (online commodity trading) program which has helped thousands of ordinary people from all over the world to attain financial security and shining success during the past 2 yrs. Mscsrrr Millionaire Secret Cash System helps you to generate $1,500+/Week for life, from home or office, part time or full time. No large investment or hassles. Win $1000-$2000 free "cash"?
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Getting a Jewish Divorce in the UK
What is the Get?
Healing Dysfunctional Families
In a recent article entitled "Some Evidence On How We
Are Spiritually Connected" I reported on a case study that revealed how individuals who share common traumatic memories can help each other release the trauma at a distance employing a new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM). In this article I will elaborate some of the potential applications of such a result as well as its far reaching implications.
Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide
Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly with regards to the mortgage and household bills. When marriage seperation is inevitable obviously both parties need somewhere to stay and often it can be quite difficult to sell one property and then try to finance two. Some couples agree to keep the existing property going and one partner move out into rented accommodation for a trial marriage seperation period. This then gives each partner time to reflect and decide what may be better for both parties. However, both parties in marriage seperation have to live and are sometimes eligible for single parent help should they have children. This, together with child maintenance, could help with their financial situation considerably.
Post-Divorce Alimony in Texas
This article provides a brief overview on Texas law concerning post-divorce alimony in Texas. Laws differ from state to state and individual circumstances vary, so you should consult with a qualified family law attorney in your area for specific advice on your particular situation. Additionally, this article deals only with post-divorce alimony. It does not address temporary alimony, which is provided for under a different provision of the Texas Family Code.
Two Kinds of Alimony: Contractual and Court Ordered maintenanceThere are two kinds of post-divorce alimony in Texas: contractual alimony and court ordered maintenance. The Texas Family Code also provides authority for the court to order temporary alimony which occurs while a divorce is pending. However, temporary alimony is outside the scope of this article and will not be addressed.Contractual AlimonyContractual alimony is based on an agreement between the parties in their divorce decree. For tax purposes, contractual alimony is normally deemed income to the receiving party and is deductible from the income of the paying party. Since contractual alimony must be based on an agreement of the parties, there are no limits to the possible amount or duration of the alimony. Court Ordered Maintenance Court ordered maintenance is provided for by Texas Family Code Chapter Eight. Although actually awarded in only a small percentage of Texas divorces, the court has the right to order one spouse to pay the other post-divorce maintenance in either of two circumstances:1. The payor spouse either received deferred adjudication or was convicted of a crime constituting family violence within two years of the filing of the divorce case, or2. The parties have been married at least ten years and the receiving spouse has some kind of financial limitation (disability, unable to work because caring for the party's child, or lacks earning ability to meet minimum reasonable needs).The monthly amount of court ordered maintenance is capped at the lesser of: a) $2,500 or b) 20% of the monthly payor's gross income.The maximum duration of court ordered maintenance is three years. The only exception is when maintenance is ordered as the result of a disability, in which case the duration can potentially extend indefinitely. ConsiderationsWhere there is a large disparity in incomes alimony can sometimes be used as a useful settlement tool. Since alimony is generally taxable to the receiving party and deductible to the paying party it can be often structured so that it is advantageous to both parties.For example, a party in a high tax bracket can agree to make monthly alimony payments in exchange for a more favorable property division. If the receiving party is in a lower tax bracket, the overall income tax paid could be significantly lower than what it would be otherwise. Another factor to consider is how rarely Texas trial courts order maintenance, absent an agreement. The statute allows for maintenance only when the specific statutory circumstances have been proven. There are several appellate cases that have reversed trial court decisions ordering maintenance when the requesting party did not provide sufficient proof that the standard had been met. In cases where there is a large amount of community property, one of the most effective arguments in attempting to defeat a maintenance claim is that the requesting party will have ample resources to provide for their needs since the party will receive a significant amount of assets from the division of property.Another common argument used to defeat a maintenance claim is that, during the pendency of the divorce, the requesting party has not made significant attempts to either obtain employment or obtain training that would allow the party to obtain employment. As an example, lets take a divorce case where the wife is requesting maintenance on the grounds that the marriage is longer than ten years and that she lacks the earning ability to meet her minimum reasonable needs. If the case has been pending for several months and at the time of
trial she has still made no effort to obtain employment or improve her job skills, it will be a difficult claim to succeed upon. The court is unlikely to find that she is "unable" to meet her reasonable minimum needs and more likely to believe that she is unwilling to take the necessary steps in order to provide for her own support.ConclusionAlimony in Texas, while rarely ordered, is an important and complicated issue. It can be used as an effective settlement tool and can potentially be a significant trial issue. For someone involved in a Texas divorce case with a potential alimony issue, the issue should be discussed in detail with an experienced divorce lawyer.
Stop Divorce: Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If Youre Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?
Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce, although its logical to automatically assume so.
Should I Get Divorced? Or Not?
No one besides you can determine whether or not a divorce is right for you! But, there are some general questions which pretty much apply to everybody. Thinking about the following issues may help you answer this question for yourself!
Contested And Uncontested Divorce
A divorce case is contested if the parties cannot agree on every one of the issues involved in their particular situation. Common areas of disagreement include, but are not limited to: grounds for divorce, custody of the children, visitation rights, division of the assets of the marriage, child support, maintenance (alimony), payment of family debts, contribution toward educational expenses (college or parochial), payment of health insurance for the dependent spouse, income tax structuring, etc
Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?
Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're trying to do all you can to make your marriage work. Depending on how your marriage was prior to thinking that you had a marriage problem, you could be in for a hurtful time if you don't take a step back and look at your marriage problem from a "helicopter" viewpoint. To do that, you're going to need to try to limit your emotional stake in the situation which admittedly is a difficult thing to do.
Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to Handle the Split Loyalties with Friends After Separation
We have all most probably encountered it at some stage in our lives - who do we stay friends with after a couple divorces or separates?
7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion after Divorce
Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living "out of the habit" of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.
Steps Toward Divorce
When you're faced with the possibility of divorce it's important that you make sure you and your children (if you have any) are taken care of. Before you even visit the attorney you'll want to assess your financial situation. Income, expenses, child support, credit, they all play a part in your decision.
How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce...then they should plan accordingly.
Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?
Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the situation, courage to try to create a team effort for the best decision with your spouse, and gumption to face the reality that a divorce may be the best solution for the loveless marriage.
There Is Life After Divorce
A married woman becomes a single woman for one of two reasons: death or divorce. The former is an honourable state, the latter is not.
Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms
When do you need to hire a family law attorney and when is it okay to just use an online divorce form website to save a little money? This article will provide a few pointers to help you decide whether to do it yourself or retain a divorce lawyer.
How to Select a Divorce Lawyer
Selecting a divorce lawyer to handle your family law case is a very important decision. The following are a few important criteria to help in finding the right divorce lawyer.
Commitment
Being marriage means being fully committed to your husband as to the Lord. Look at Ephesians 5:22 it says Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water though the word, and present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother an be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case
1. Have an Clear Written Fee Agreement
Spousal Emotional Abuse During Divorce--What You Can Do
Is your spouse violent, abusive, harassing? In cases of harassment or violence there are legal remedies and there are practical things you can and must do for yourself. This is not about reaching agreement--these are strategies for self-defense. Mental and physical abuse must never be tolerated.
The Impact of Divorce on Families
As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce.
|
