3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them
What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to unhappy, unhealthy and unsuccessful children? Parents know these for your children seek. 1. Failure To Act According To Child's Best Interest This divorce parenting mistake stem from not knowing what exactly these interest are. Experts do agree on two factors that can be said to be the foundation for a child's true best interest: - Maintain familial ties that were meaningful and important to your children prior to the divorce.
- Provide a generally supportive and cooperative in-between parent relationships.
Act according to child's best interest. 2. Failure To Let Go The Hurt's Of One's Divorce Let go of grudges you may hold against your former spouse. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If you dwell on your disappointment and dislike with your former spouse - chances are your child will sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative attitude. Overcome this divorce parenting mistake. Let go and forgive. 3. Failure To Win Divorce Parenting Cooperation If divorced parents can put aside their personal feelings before the welfare of their children and choose to interact with one another in a respectful and dignified way, their children will benefit. Beat this kind of divorce parenting mistake. Learn to win your ex parenting cooperation. Sure, you can have healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Do act according to child's best interest, let go and forgive, and win the parenting cooperation of your ex. Remember, how bad and well children go through the divorce depends on how you handle the situation. Never let your divorce ruin your children's life. Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved. Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author bylines are included. About The Author Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; support@101divorceparenting.com
Related News
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Why Standard Visitation Should NOT Be Standard
When a nuclear family separates, it usually separates into a "custodial" family and a "non-custodial" family. The custodial family is the parent with whom the children reside on a day-to-day basis. Most often, it's the Mother. The non-custodial family is the other parent - usually Dad - and the children when they are with him.
Anatomy of a Divorce: How it Really Works
The legal divorce vs. your real divorce
The legal divorce has very limited concerns: to get a judgment of divorce, you have to make arrangements for your property, your children, and support (if any). If you have a high degree of conflict, it is also about keeping the peace and protecting you, your children and your property. That's it; that's all the legal divorce is about.
The law is used to impose a decision in your case only when there is a disagreement that has been brought into court. If you can reach a fair written agreement with your spouse, you can get almost any terms you like without much reference to laws. But, where children are concerned, a judge might take a look at your terms to make sure they are reasonably well supported and protected.
All you get from your legal divorce is a piece of paper--a Judgment--with findings of fact and court orders on the above subjects. That's all. This is what all the fuss is about; this is what people go to attorneys for and spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to get--a piece of paper with orders about peace, property, custody, and support.
You might think that a legal divorce will solve your problems, but it probably won't and it is critically important that you understand this so you don't expect too much from the legal divorce--or some lawyer--and set yourself up for frustration and disappointment.
Your real divorce is about ending one life and beginning another, then making it work--spiritually, emotionally and practically. The real divorce is about breaking old patterns, making a new life and seeking a new center of balance. It's about doing your best with the hand you've been dealt.
Understanding some basic things about how the real divorce works will help you enormously in dealing with yourself, your spouse and your list of practical problems.
How you feel is probably the most real thing in your life right now. Nothing else in your life is as real as your pain, your fear, your anger, hurt, guilt, tension, nervousness, illness, depression--whatever it is you are feeling.
The practical tasks you face are also very real: how to get by financially, how to rearrange the parenting of your children, what to say to family and friends, what to do next, and so on.
In your real divorce, then, you face these challenges:
Emotional: This is about breaking (or failing to break) the bonds, patterns, dependencies, and habits that attach you to your ex-spouse. It's about learning to let go of anger, fear, hurt, guilt, blame, and resentment. You learn about past mistakes so you don't have to repeat them. You develop a balanced view of yourself, your ex-spouse, and your marriage. You create self-confidence and an openness to new intimate relationships.
Physical: Our minds and bodies are not separate and life does not come in these neat boxes. Emotions--especially strong ones that are ignored, denied or repressed--are frequently expressed physically. During divorce, people tend to experience a lot of tension and nervousness. They get ill frequently and have accidents. This is a time when you must take extra good care of your health, pay close attention to your body, and be extra careful when driving.
Practical: This is about taking care of business on the physical plane--including the legal divorce. It's the nuts and bolts of what to do, where to go, and how to get there as you begin to build a new life for yourself. You need to create safety and security for yourself and your children; to make ends meet in a new life-style that produces what you need and needs no more than you can produce.
Going through major life changes--in other words, re-creating your life--is demanding, hard work, but it may be the most important thing you ever do. And, unless you decide to get counseling or go into therapy, the real divorce won't cost a dime!
This article was taken from the book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Better, which is full of practical advice on how to handle the issues described above. Learn more by going to Divorce Solutions.
Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman
A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce
I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end. I had several months of suspecting that she was having an affair. There was weeks that I didn't see her because she was staying out all night. I tried to do everything that I thought would help to mend the situation. I tried to get her to go to counseling, talk to the pastor at church, but the more I tried the worse my situation became. She resented me for every thing I tried to do.
Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. When making a serious divorce decision, having an open mind and listing the things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.
Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!
It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you. There is a simple process to help the serious individual get over a divorce.
Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When Youre Staying Married Only For Your Children
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.
There Is Life After Divorce
A married woman becomes a single woman for one of two reasons: death or divorce. The former is an honourable state, the latter is not.
Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?
Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal consultation. And lately there are sites offering online divorce services.
Tax & Financial Impacts of Divorce: 10 Mistakes to Avoid
Divorce is something no one hopes will happen to them when they get married. Unfortunately, almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Since few people have pre-nuptial agreements, most divorces involve often bitter tangles over children, money, and assets. When it comes to the tax and financial implications of divorce, often your divorce attorney is not the only one you should rely on for advice.
Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!
Let me preface this by saying right up front - this is NOT for everyone. The key is that my situation was friendly enough to still communicate with each other after we split. My ex-wife and I agreed that our kids were certainly worth that! And we still have to deal with one another until they are through college. This is offered as a life experience only and not intended as legal advice. As such, this may not apply to you.
How to Recover From Divorce
As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I have developed this list of survival strategies for people who are experiencing divorce. If you or someone you love is in this situation, I hope these ideas will help you.
The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship
Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a particularly difficult experience because it makes you deal with two different sets of issues.
Divorce: Coping With The Family Law Process
The Emotions
What Are You Waiting For?
So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but for whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided to stay together "for the sake of the children".
Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective
It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective.
How Can Collaborative Law Be Beneficial In Your Texas Divorce?
Collaborative law is based on the realization that the commitment by the parties in a family is that it is in their best interest to avoid going to trial.
Divorce--Negotiating Agreement: Ten Steps
The best predictor of a good divorce outcome is the degree of client control over the negotiation--everything works much better if you have it. This doesn't mean you should not get help and advice from an attorney if you want it; it means you are better off if you plan to do most or all of the negotiating yourself.
Studies indicate that clients feel their attorneys don't actually give them much help or guidance anyway. In a 1976 Connecticut study, nearly half of those interviewed reported no more than three contacts with their attorney, including phone calls, while 60% said they had worked out all issues without attorney help.
A New Jersey study in 1984 considered only cases with children where both spouses had attorneys. Fewer than 20% felt their lawyers had played a major role in settlement negotiations.
So, you see, you are likely to end up dealing with the negotiation anyway and there is strong evidence that you are far better off if you do. You get a higher degree of compliance with terms of agreement, a much lower chance for future courtroom conflict, co-parenting is smoother, support payments are more likely to be made in full and on time, and you get on with your life more quickly.
Don't expect negotiating with a spouse to be easy. There are lots of built-in difficulties--so many that you may want professional help from a good mediator. But, okay, so there are problems--that's nothing new in the world of divorce. Let's look at exactly what you can do about it. Here are ten steps you can take to make your negotiations work:
1. Be businesslike:
7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion after Divorce
Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living "out of the habit" of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.
Women And Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce...then they should plan accordingly.
The Impact of Divorce on Families
As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce.
|
